How Will My Sex Life Change During Menopause? Tips for Continued Intimacy

Menopause: an unavoidable stage every woman eventually encounters, bringing a whirlwind of changes to not only our physical health but also our emotional and mental wellbeing. While hot flushes and mood swings are some of the most common symptoms we associate with menopause, its impacts are far-reaching, bringing many changes that can have a significant impact on the rhythm of our daily lives.

One of the most significant of these can be menopause’s impact on our sexuality. Several physical changes occurring during menopause have a direct impact on how we experience and desire sexual encounters. Understanding the potential correlation between changes in your sex drive and menopause’s physical shifts can be helpful in clarifying what’s ahead.

Physical changes during menopause 

It’s no surprise that menopause brings a host of physical changes. As your natural hormone production begins to decrease, the reduction in oestrogen produced and utilised in your body can challenge your ability to engage with ‘business as usual’ when it comes to your sex life. These include:

• Vaginal dryness: as oestrogen levels drop, this can lead to the vaginal walls producing less natural lubrication. For many women, this can cause either pain or discomfort during penetrative sexual intercourse.

• Thinning vaginal tissues: oestrogen also plays a key role in maintaining the elasticity and thickness of the vaginal linings. As it reduces, vaginal tissues can become thinner or more fragile, also resulting in a heightened potential for painful sex, or an increased susceptibility to infections as a result of sexual intercourse.

• A reduction in sexual desire: fluctuating hormones can also lead to a fluctuating sense of sexual desire. While this is a highly individual experience from individual to individual, it’s likely women may find their interest in sex reducing during menopausal changes.

• Changes in arousal and orgasm: it’s common for women to take longer to become physically aroused, and to experience orgasms that are less intense than premenopausal orgasms, as another result of changing hormone levels.

• Urinary incontinence: as urinary incontinence is a common side effect of menopause, this can create a challenge for some women during sexual activity. Urinary incontinence is often a result of weakened pelvic floor muscles, also related to a decrease in oestrogen levels.

• Fatigue: hot flushes and night sweats can cause great disruption to a woman’s ability to sleep soundly through the night, often leading to fatigue. This can have its own impact on sexual desire, with many women experiencing heightened fatigue that directly correlates to a decrease in sexual energy.

Emotional and psychological changes during menopause

As well as this range of physical changes during menopause, the emotional and psychological changes that take place in these seasons can have a direct impact on sexual desire and enjoyment. As mood swings, anxiety and depression are all common issues during menopause, you may find that emotional changes are the culprits behind a lack of sexual desire or arousal.

While these changes are substantial, understanding how your body and mind may change during menopause can be the first step in finding support for hormonal fluctuations. Menopause doesn’t need to mean the end of a satisfying sex life – you just may find you need to be more proactive in finding the tools and support necessary for ongoing sexual enjoyment and engagement.

The importance of communication and intimacy

One area of your sex life where you can remain in complete control during menopause is communication and intimacy. Open communication with your partner is crucial during this season, creating opportunities to navigate these changes together. By openly discussing the experiences, desires and uncertainties, you can cultivate even more of a foundation of empathy and mutual support.

You can prioritise this by setting aside time to discuss your menopause experience with your partner. While it may take some getting used to when it comes to discussing menopausal changes, these check-ins can create a space where each of you can express your emotions, as well as identify opportunities for greater sexual support during this time.

Prioritising open lines of communication can help you and your partner to find new solutions to the challenges menopause brings to your shared sexual experiences. The intimacy you’ve cultivated doesn’t need to disappear as a result of changing hormone levels – but it does require understanding, empathy and attention.

Tips for maintaining a fulfilling sex life during menopause

Now that we’ve identified the physical and mental impacts of menopause on your sex life, as well as the importance of communication, it’s time to turn to the practicalities. These tips can help reduce the impact of menopausal changes on your sexual experiences, creating more opportunities for intimacy and enjoyment during this season.

• Invest in a range of lubricants. Vaginal dryness and discomfort can be greatly relieved through the use of lubricants. Lubricants come in various forms and are easily available at your local pharmacy, grocery store or online. It’s best to experiment with a number of different lubricants to find the best product for yourself and your partner.

• Be open to new forms of intimacy. Menopause can present a positive opportunity to explore new forms of connection and intimacy. Sensual massages, cuddling and various forms of sexual encounters can all be of use in expanding your shared sexual toolkit, creating more opportunities for emotional and physical connection.

• Prioritise foreplay. Investing time and energy into extended foreplay can be a significant help for women in the midst of menopause, serving to increase arousal and decrease discomfort. Communication is key for finding enjoyable foreplay experiences for both partners.

• Maintain your physical wellbeing. By remaining physically active and keeping up a balanced diet, you’ll benefit from an overall positive impact on your health and wellbeing. This isn’t disconnected from your sex life, as exercise and diet have direct impacts on our moods, energy levels, and strength levels.

Navigating the changes ahead

Menopause doesn’t have to mean a loss of identity, sexual or otherwise. To find support for your menopause journey, including resources, treatments and the input of expert practitioners, contact the Australian Menopause Centre to discover the pathways available to you.