Coping With the Death of My Mother
By Gina Mitchell
Life took an unexpected turn when my mother, Aida, suffered a stroke in early February this year. Within a mere seven weeks, she transitioned from being vibrant to peacefully passing away. In the wake of her passing, grief consumed us, her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, demanding tears and plunging us into a tumult of emotions.
In the tapestry of life, there are moments that alter our course forever, leaving indelible marks upon our souls. For many of us, particularly as we reach midlife and beyond, the loss of a parent represents such a moment. With life expectancy in Australia for women being 83.3 years and for men 81.2 years1, I am indeed grateful for my mother surpassing these statistics and passing away at 87 years.
The stroke’s arrival was as sudden as it was merciless for my poor mother. It plunged our lives into chaos, stripping my mother of her ability to speak and move the right side of her body. The days that followed were a blur of hospital visits and whispered conversations with doctors, each laden with dread of her poor prognosis. Despite clinging to hope, fate’s relentless march led us through agonizing weeks, witnessing the gradual decline of my mother’s vitality.
I was visiting her on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, the last time I had a real conversation with her, the day before the stroke. As I live in Sydney, there were many trips back and forth to spend time with my mother as she aged and needed more care. The last conversation we had was quite humorous. She had developed a friendship (a kind of romance) with a gentleman in her aged care facility and he had become quite possessive of my mother. We laughed together as she told me how she managed to escape his grip on her hand by telling him that she needed to visit the toilet. She had no intention of returning and subsequently, the poor man was not happy. We found out later that he was a bit of a Casanova. I will forever remember with fondness this final conversation with my mother.
March 25th 2024, a date forever etched in my memory, marked the sad end of my mother’s journey. Witnessing my mother’s final breath, after a week of being by her bedside, brought a bittersweet mix of relief and anguish. Grief, a relentless companion, lead me through a labyrinth of emotions. Losing a parent thrust me into the stark reality of my own mortality. Despite the outpouring of support from friends and family, grief enveloped me in a shroud of isolation.
Parents, as they age, become poignant reminders of our own mortality. The passing of my mother served as a stark reminder of life’s brevity and the inevitability of death. Amidst the darkness of grief, memories of my mother served as beacons of solace, guiding me through the depths of despair.
In the months since her passing, I learned to cherish life’s simple joys and embrace each moment with gratitude. Though the pain of loss remains palpable, it serves as a testament to the depth of our love. Losing a parent became a catalyst for personal growth, teaching me to find strength amidst adversity and appreciate the fleeting beauty of life.
Importantly, I am reminded of how important it is to live life on my own terms. To do what is best for me in the time I have remaining. As women, we are more likely to put the needs of others before our own. My mother’s death is a huge reminder for me to embrace the fullness of life and all it has to offer. For me that is a bucket list of fun, travel, new experiences and enjoying the connections and times with loved ones.
As I navigate each new day, my mother’s legacy lives on in cherished memories and enduring love. Though physically absent, her spirit resonates within my heart and the hearts of others who cherished her.
If you would like some help with grief due to the loss of a parent, or to learn to live your life on your own terms, book in for a FREE Soulful Connection Session. Book at a time that suits you using my online calendar HERE.
I’d love to have a chat with you to see how I can help.
Love, Gina XX
Bibliography:
Australian Government, 2023, Australian Institute of Health and Welfare, Deaths in Australia. Accessed 25/5/24, https://www.aihw.gov.au/reports/life-expectancy-deaths/deaths-in-australia/contents/life-expectancy
About Gina
Gina Mitchell stands for women being empowered and owning their own lives while going through midlife and menopause.
Her niche is coaching women over 40 because of her own challenges with midlife and menopause. She is not okay with the fact that many women suffer and struggle through this stage of life and beyond.
Gina is a certified life coach, certified NLP practitioner, matrix therapist and hypnotherapist. She is the founder and CEO of Midlife Coaching for Women. She has been supporting her clients to reach their goals since 2011.
She wrote a #1 best-selling book about female midlife relationships called ‘Ignite the Spark’.
Gina’s mission to help midlife women live their true potential comes from over 35 years as a scientist and science teacher.
Her other passions include her family, pet cat, travel, advocating for animal rights and the environment.
‘Not just surviving menopause and midlife …..but thriving’ – Gina Mitchell
Website:
Midlife Coaching For Women
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About The Author - AMC Team
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